May 18th, 2014
Remembrance of Geoff, at Carderock.
It was a fine spring day; the river
was high, and Carderock was a sea of mud in all but the central core,
from Biceps to the Dream. A crowd of mismatched persons of all types
gathered in the parking lot and told stories, passed around old
snapshots, listened to an old tape; trying to pin down a man who was
widely known and liked, and instantly identifiable, and yet was also
elusive, secretive and perplexing when one tried to get too close.
He was notoriously averse to having his picture taken, yet many have
surfaced, which might or might not yield clues to the man. Not
imagining I had fewer years of his company left than I had anticipated,
I was never systematic about recording his exploits or documenting
him, though I and others often thought we ought to get together and
do that. But eventually he became more at ease with my occasional
camera, as does a wild animal with the naturalist's camera trained on
its watering hole.
We stood around and talked, lunched on
excellent potluck fare, drank lemonade in the shade, and eventually
drifted away; some of us filtered down to the X and did a little very
lazy bouldering, and lay around in casual conversation. There was a
sleepy feeling, and lack of any ambition; I had brought toproping
gear out of pure habit, but made no move to set anything up. I
thought about the difficulty of really explaining even the few easier
problems I can still remember well. A brilliant tapestry of
intricate and beautiful problems, scrolled across a quarter century,
lit by delectable sunlight, inexorably fades even as we try to grasp
and hold it. What is indelible is the good-natured feeling of our
interactions on that gray schist.
By weird coincidence, the day after
the event Hannah ran across a set of photos in her computer taken in
the fall of 2011, of a group of us goofing off at Jan's face. I did
not remember them and don't even know who took them. One of them is
a group portrait, shown below; and it is remarkable in that Geoff is
front and center, smiling, at ease, and I think, finally allowing
himself full and appropriate membership, in harmony with humanity, so
to speak. Those who spoke of him at the event rightly stressed his
very gregarious nature, his basic love of people and his willingness,
nay, eagerness to teach and help others; I feel that it took him many
years to grow out of, or at least soften, his distrust of others and
his need to dominate any contest. I like to think this photo is
evidence of that.
left to right: Steve Tise, Andy
Bennett, Geoff Farrar, John Gregory, John Ely, Dave Rockwell, Chris
Mrozowski.
I couldn't speak at the gathering; I
knew that I would embarrass myself with a show of emotion. But if I
could, I would have said something like this, clichéd as it is:
My name is Dave Rockwell. At a rough
estimate I bouldered with Geoff about 500 times. All men must die. As climbers maybe we
are less squeamish about death than some, but it still stings. We've
lost a senior member of our expedition, so to speak; and a loyal
companion on the steep and rocky climb. We'll just have to continue
on without him. But we'll keep close at hand the useful knowledge
that he tried to get through our heads: which is that in fact we can
solve problems that we're sure are impossible. Like:
“Geoff, I can't stand up on this!
There's no foothold here!”
“Yes you can. Just hold your foot
like I showed you and straighten your back. Now: just stand up!”
And we did.
L. Frank Baum specified
that Ozma of Oz crossed the deadly desert, which is death to step
upon, on a large magic carpet that unrolled in front of her and
rolled up again behind her, as she was drawn in her chariot by the
Cowardly Lion and the Hungry Tiger, and followed by her entourage.
He probably did not intend it as a beautiful metaphor for life and
consciousness itself, proceeding along over the meaningless abyss of
the physical world through an inexplicable process of continual
creation and amazement, so to speak. On this journey, our companions
and our companionship on this strange carpet are everything. The
rest is silence.
This is a very thoughtful and poignant post. Wish I had been there. Thanks for post Dave
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